What and If two very simple and innocent words harmless on their own. But when you put them together it can be like unleashing a storm and starting a chain reaction of endless “what if’s” where you can overthink and ruminate creating this and that scenario worrying about the outcome and stopping you from doing.

“What if” – the self-chatter in our heads that can talk us out of doing something filling us with self-doubt because we are uncertain about the outcome. Eleanor Roosevelt said “Do one thing every day that scares you”

Today my scary is writing this blog and all of my what if’s come in – what if nobody reads it – what if people don’t like what I have to say – what if nobody connect or comments, what if it is no good – all of these and more going around in my head as I sit and write this and imagine all kinds of outcomes as I write every word.

My “What if’s” can be translated as my limiting beliefs – I am being judged – I am a failure, I need approval and I am unworthy. All of those beliefs that have been instilled over time, some by me and some by what I have been told as I have grown up.

Overthinking the task to the degree where you avoid it all costs doing whatever else instead so that you don’t have to tackle whatever it is. This has been me for the last year wanting to Blog but too fearful to get off the starting block. How many of us have got ready to do something – maybe write a report, or the content for a website or maybe even just a facebook post for our business page. For me with facebook it is worrying am I posting too often and what if people don’t engage with the post because it is just her again and then I end up not posting enough and then lose any rapport I have started to build  – you can see I am laying myself bare here and sharing my fears. My anxiety stopping me from bringing to me all the good things I want in my life because I am focussing on what I don’t want.

What if it doesn’t?

In Winnie the Pooh – Piglet says to Pooh “Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it? – “Supposing it didn’t” said Pooh, after careful deliberation. For such a small bear he has great charm and wisdom.

Wise words from such a small bear – ‘so what if it doesn’t’ – which when I give careful deliberation to this I can see I am just allowing the doubts to create something that isn’t there and really I have been worrying about nothing and wasted time in worrying about nothing. So rather worrying and fretting like Piglet I am going to be positive like Pooh

Putting  What if’s in its place

Having given great thought to the ‘what if’s’ and how this has stopped me from just getting on and doing. I have looked at the idea of ‘so what’ – so what if nobody reads this I have had the experience of writing it which has gone a long way to getting me over the fear of writing and helped to put some perspective on it. So what if people don’t like what I have to say – they can agree or disagree what is scary about that. If it sparks debate then that is great.

When I look at the limiting beliefs I have associated with writing this blog I have changed them into positive statements from I am a failure to I am successful and capable. Changing I need approval and I am unworthy to ‘who I am is enough’ this is one of my favourite affirmations.

I could have written this Blog in half the time if hadn’t let the ‘what if’s’  get in the way and taken Pooh’s point of view “Supposing it didn’t”

 

If you need help putting your “What If’s” in their place and start doing instead of worrying  I have 2 coaching spaces available for March you can contact me for a free no obligation call – email me at marion@yourlifesoulcoach.co.uk .

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